6 Months of Staying Alone
It has been 6 months since I started living alone, though it felt like it was the right time and the correct decision I now think I should have moved out sooner. What makes me think like this is the amount of growth that has happened it that period, where I would I be if I had moved out early? This is theoretical so I won’t dwell on it much. I can honestly say that I am way more mature than I was those months ago. When I think deeper and closely the decision to move out happened at the exact and correct time. Turned 26, and during that period construction and renovations had just started at home, and I had saved up enough money that could finance my staying alone also by that time. Everything culminated to make moving out that time the obvious next best decision.
It was a bit rocky in the start because I used the spend a lot of money on things I needed, I wasn’t used to spending much at home. Months in, I got the essentials and spending stabilized to a certain range per month. My savings per month was cut down by about 65% — this is the biggest ‘downside’ of me moving, the money I get to keep per month has lessened significantly. Of course this has made it a motivator for me to explore ways I could increase my income to reclaim my savings target.
The main upside is having my own space far from everyone. I rarely invite people to my house so this is my hiding place. I found that being alone works for me to an extend. With this aloneness I have been able to have space to examine and resolve internal issues I have. This is an ongoing process even now, the purpose of this piece of writing is partially geared toward resolving my issues by self reflection, and hearing myself tell my story.
My relationship with family buffed up also, when I was at home I was a bit of a pain in the butt to my people because I didn’t clearly understand that things costed money, I wasn’t much appreciative. Now I know, and this has me realize how wrong I was and made me really appreciative of home and what it provided for me. I am now more of a contributor and less of a consumer.
Being at home shielded me from the world, I lived like a campus student even after clearing campus because of being at home. Everything was sort of taken care of and didn’t have much to really worry about. Moving out has been quite awakening for me, I was living a fantastical and unsustainable life at home. I know somewhere deep down that even if things go south I am not moving back home. It is a knowing that is seated in the thought that perhaps I won’t be let back in as warmly as I would love and also, that it would be a regression on my part. It is nipped in my head that I am alone, I have to figure it out on my own from here. I realize how time flies in a light bolt fashion, it is catching up to me. I am living both the positive and negative consequences of my inputs in my earlier years. But hey, I can’t complain. So far so good….
