Attachment.

Need.

Expectation.

Are things that this level of interraction with you is revealing in me.

The need to make you reciprocate to my advances.

The need to have you genuinely show interest towards me.

The expectation that you be in a long term relationship with me that could lead the having kids and family.

Attachment to these needs and expectations in my mind.

This exposes a truth, this relationship is not sacred.

It is of projection, of waiting in line for certain needs to be met, it is saturated with ulterior motive, it is mind games.

It is extension of personality — of the self, it is a wander off away to the dark corners of the mind.

I sometimes question whether this is a trap laid by some forces to destruct from my search of truth

And it has blinded me to see the obvious, to read the cues and acknowledge and understand the outcome

May nature grant me the eyes to see and the sensibilities to understanding and act accordingly