Day 35 — Monk Mode

This is the first time in my adult life where I have managed to stay chaste for 30+ days. It doesn’t seem like I am slowing down anytime soon.

The main circumstance that has provided sufficient motivation in this direction the thought that may be this could significantly add to the hastening recovery from a back injury I sustained about 12 wks ago. I was to do surgery for it but I improved significantly to the point where I didn’t feel I had to do it anymore. I have not had a doctors opinion on this though.

Otherwise my willpower and ‘discipline’ alone would not be enough. It would have failed by now.

I can say I am becoming a whole other person partially as a result of this journey. I am speaking up more for myself. My decision making has improved. I have found relative peace. I am able to resist the urge to seek intimacy with women, or go to the sites — this has overpowered me so many times in the past. My bliss has deepened, I am moving towards valuing peace more than anything else.

Unless there is some sort of absolute necessity from the side of the practitioner for such an endeavor, it is almost guaranteed to fail. Doing it for benefits, or to achieve the self image that I am now a practitioner of such and such thing will always likely fail. Such things are not strong enough to cause the mind to submit. It will result in more self conflict than attaining the goal.

I sincerely would love my life to change to something I could never fathom in a million years. I want my existence to be magical. I want to be free from all the turmoil inside of me for life. I want my life to be a benediction.

Regardless of circumstance.