Do I Really Want Freedom?

The forms of freedom I desire are a myriad;

Freedom from having to work for money.

Freedom from inner turmoil of all kind.

Freedom from physical constraints.

Freedom from needs such as; of approval etc.

Freedom from destructive and distractive habits.

Freedom from bodily injuries and pains.

These are basically the freedoms I desire.

Among these, there are some that are going relatively well but haven’t reached the ultimate. A majority however have not, and despite my desire for them in this moment, my actions and behaviors do not signal a serious movement towards theirs destinations.

Naturally, if someone is serious about something, he reaches out to it immediately. It reveals his or her seriousness about it. The things someone is not really serious about, he speaks about in a passing way, in a tone of ‘a good for me’, ‘ I should do this ’ ,‘will do it when I get time/chance’ etc. and never really proceeds to get to it. There is procrastination.

The reason I question whether I really want freedom is because I hold the ideas in the light of the paragraph above. The observation about myself is that I only do things when I have to, well, some things — especially those that involve change. A case in point now; I need more income but I am hesitant to apply for a new job, or learn a new sellable skill. These then reveals my unseriousness about the freedom that I claim to really want.

One has to be honest with themselves, this way they lessen their inner turmoil ( Kapil Gupta ). This where I am at. There are many aspect in my life where the idea I have is never to soil myself again, but I go ahead to the soil sooner or later, it has been a recurring theme in some aspects. A cycle or progression and regression.