how is feel inside? around my chest area is a familiar ache that I have watched arise in me from time and time again.

It is the ache of the torture of continuing doing what I am doing now at the expense of what I really want.

It is the ache of torture of the knowing that I will never be enough if I continue in the path I am in now.

The ache that questions how much more time I am going to waste, till I walk the true path.

It is the ache of doubt.

Of living an undevoted life. The ache of the thought of consequences of trading this path with the one I think of walking.

It is the ache that I badge as my anxiety.

It is the ache that I see in the faces of people who have walked further up the path that I am currently trading. Of mere survival.

It is the ache of a sell out.

It is the ache of a guilty conscience. Of disingenuousness.

It is hell. It is the ache of denial of truth.

It is the ache of the dissatisfaction of the justifications I tell myself about my job.

The ache that I know will be my reality until the day I die if I do not change course.

It is the ache that is still here even sentences deep in here.

It is the ache that breeds reactivity in me.

The ache of growing disgust inside.

The ache of a mans legs walking fast towards emptiness.

It is the ache of all my aches, pains on my body does not pale in comparison.

It is the ache of the thought of the income I will forego to walk this new path.

It is the ache of doing things I am not inspired by.