I drank Your Coke…why we Broke

I couldn’t say why our relationship couldn’t move forward because the reasons could come off as judgmental, I even tried to type them out on Whatsapp and send but I deleted them all out. I am scared of the emotional recoil it would have and the endless questions that would probably arise from it. It wouldn’t be worth it so I shot straight to the main reason, the reason I had hinted to on that Sunday morning call. Alcohol is a No No for me. The things I saw alcohol do to my family and hence me when I was young made me totally repulsed, I knew I couldn’t move on with you that Saturday evening. Before that I thought may be I could compromise but I quickly realized that day that I wasn’t.

I had been looking for a way to tell you but it couldn’t come out. Strike 2 was when you let me know there was a guy I knew who was pursuing you. It seemed to me that you were entertaining him. Since I couldn’t play the competition mind game, I had to go right to the source and let the guy know, I didn’t feel I had the right to tell you to stop it because we were not yet committed. I trusted that if the guy knew I was the one pursuing you he would back down because we have some history together. I don’t know if he did but it worked, my anxiety about it ended, the only backlash happened when you found out from him, which also ended.

The mini strikes are the red flags picked from stories of your past sexually, the talks such as if you become my girlfriend utanisumbua, the type of guys you have dealt with, that you can replace a man quick, and that if you went to the city you wouldn’t pay for accommodation heri ulale kwa ex wako, It just painted a scary picture in my head I couldn’t trust you enough to move things to being in a serious relationship with you…

I just couldn’t. I will not tell you the whole truth about why it had to end, I feel like that’s enough. Unless you ask and I feel like you genuinely want to know.