It is About the What, not The How.

I have come across this idea many times as you might have in the various corners of self development fora.

I have seen it to be true in my case, multiple times. To find out what it is that I really want and not the how to get, the how is often an interference. Most of what one wants cannot be attained in a linear way because they are not mechanical in nature. It comes about in very unpredictable, non-linear way, that when you look back after getting what it is that you wanted you cannot methodize it, what you know for sure is that you really wanted this thing. This is why I find advise and how to’s, techniques and methods to be largely false. Attaining something that is not mechanical in nature is a very murky affair that does not have an how to.

How is focusing on the how an interference? Say I want a big house, and I sincerely want it, at the age of 27 I earn just above minimum wage, if I focus on the how, my mind will bring up that I have to save for years and years to achieve the goal, also bring up the possibilities of things that will make my goal impossible etc…and hence poke holes of doubt in the thing that I really want and it becomes impossible. It becomes an interference. Then I submit to how my life is currently, in a victim role and that is it. I am at the mercy of the events of my life.

However, if I focus on the what; my mind and the environment and million other variables will align to make it a reality.

How can one be sure of this? Because it is not himself that brings these things to be. There is a power greater than oneself that looks at the desires of one’s heart and creates a way for them to be granted. The human will know it is it when he is on the path, there is a certain certainty that is not hope that the thing will come to pass. A certain pull toward it. It is as if they are being supported.

A man looking to get a good wife for example cannot find her by his own might, it has to be a sincere desire within him that brings him this wife — this is not a rule. Things such as getting a good wife are not things that happen for the ambitious they just happen, and mostly as a result of one’s sincere desire. I know many drunk men, even in my family who have good wives, I know many men who are well off who have never found a good woman to marry or who are in horrible marriages. It is not a mechanical endeavor at all. It is a circuitous thing that one knows not the how.

When one realizes that things do not come as a result of his effort but from a certain place that even he himself does not fully understand, he will not fear to dream, he will not be scared that he is running out of time, he will dream big, he will truly be detached from out come, he will be excited about his days, he will have an attitude of expecting good things to happen, he will have an abundance mindset, he will not focus on obstacles because he knows there is nothing that can stop him from having what he truly desires.

If it was because of effort that human being made it, then everybody would be rich. There is no shortage of hardworking people in the world who still struggle financially.

This is the realization that has recently engulfed me. It is purely about the what and not the how. I know this to be true because of my own experiences, the evidence in the world and the reiteration of it in the words of Kapil Gupta MD, a man who I consider to be an ultimate truth seeker.