Losses
I will remember the year 2021 because of losses. On February I lost ksh.60,000 to online conmen who posed as dealers in water tanks on the https://www.pigiame.co.ke/ marketplace. I remember them switching off their phone lines immediately the money was sent. I nearly lost my mind. It was so bad because to get a tank was my first job assignment. I called my boss back told them I would refund the money and that I was not fitting for the job. I was actually fine with being fired at that instance. I cried bitterly as I walked my way home, I had to make stops and sit on sidewalk pavement to cry and gather strength to keep walking. The next day I reported to the police but they just sort of laughed at me. They didn’t help. I knew they were probably not going to help so I just reported for procedure.
The next losses came from online sports gambling. I had two waves, the first I lost nearly ksh.10,000 then I quit till like August when I won back the sh. 10,000 but still lost it back, then dug me out some more, then I quit. It has been nearly 4 months since it stopped. Gambling is easily one of the worst habits I have ever had in my young adulthood. It gave a thrill even when I lost, so it opened a door in me of not fearing losing money or just losing in general. That is not good for business.
In November I bought a motor cycle, then gave it to someone I had known I thought I could trust to be my rider. Within 2 months the guy disappeared with my motorcycle I have never seen him since. I have just had to take that loss. I bought the motor bike at KSH.143,000 cash. It still pains me till date. I only made back around KSH.10,000 from it. The guy kept lying about the circumstances that led to the loss of the bike — that he got an accident while trying to escape police because he was transporting illegal drugs, then when I asked anything about the situation or the bike, he would either lie or not reply at all. He blocked my line, I could only communicate via Whatsapp. As I write today, he lied about bringing the motor cycle to me for the 5th or 6th time. I figured hell, this thing is gone.
I reported this matter again to the police, I didn’t get much help, I put myself in a very weak position. First, I let this guy ride without any sort of legal contract. 2nd he didn’t have a license, I just trusted him, at that time I couldn’t see how naïve and risky it was to do that.
These losses scourge me in the inside because it took me a lot of toil to get that cash, what concerns me most though is the source of those decision. They were largely out of compulsive feelings, especially for the motor cycle which at that time I thought it was this gut feeling that is talked about by almost every business guru, spiritualists and self help sections. There is one more major decision which I made out of that emotional compulsion and now I am wondering is it the correct or the incorrect one — just because the source of the decision is similar — compulsive emotions. It pertains way more money than the one I lost in the tank and gambling scenes. I am yet to find out.
It is very ironic because 2021 is the year I wanted to get to at least KSH.1M in money market fund savings. I missed the mark by the sum of the losses. I learned the hard way that people are hard to trust, that there is not ‘easy’ way out when it comes to making money, that I just have to accept the losses and take lessons and move on. Life and time are moving at a relentless pace. I can feel myself growing older.
The losses have made me very skeptical about any more investments — that is why I have never even looked at the cryptocurrency world. Till the day I heal from the scars of these losses I will probably not make any more investments, I will just save and spend on what I need to spend on and that’s it. I cannot afford another loss, it might kill me. I really feel bitter, especially about the motor cycle, I thought the relationship I had with the rider would be mutually beneficial but it turned out as it did, at this point I have no choice but to move on.
