STUCK IN COMPULSION

I am struggling to find a sustainable way to quit watching corn. It is the one thing that I feel if I quit will result in the biggest shift in my life. The longest I have stayed without in my adult life is 6 months, about 2 years ago. The 6 months weren’t effortful quitting. I had motivation to quit too, I believe somewhere within myself that abstaining would help speed up my recovery from a back injury I had that time.

For now, I don’t see what can get me to quit.
Is it performance issues during sex? This hasn’t been severe enough.
Is it sluggishness, tiredness, and loss of mental focus? This has not been a strong enough reason to motivate the desire to quit.
Is it the possibility that it might lead to relationship problems or eventually the loss of the relationship I am in right now? For now, it isn’t doing any of these…I have mentioned it to my girl more than once, she seemed quietly displeased but she didn’t make a big deal out of it. Is she hiding how she really feels?

My mind says she somehow consigns because she mentioned how she also watches but rarely.

It is what the scientists say that it will rewire my brain? This is too abstract for it to have an effect on the brain. Etc.

I don’t know what it is going to be. At this moment, I do not know if I am ever going to successfully quit. I have been trying for the last few weeks but I have only succeeded in inciting the mind to crave more.

The only way I am left with to quit that I believe deep down can work is going forth revealing the habit to someone of authority in my life. It can be anyone who I respect so much that if I went forth and confessed and committed verbally or by writing to them that I am quitting, I would never go back on that promise. I believe this deep down. Part of my nature is not wanting to disappoint anyone or being a people pleaser, this trait comes in handy.

If I could watch porn and not want to indulge, it wouldn’t be a problem, but they are all interconnected. The PMO. One leads to another, that’s how my mind has been conditioned since I started indulging.

Phew!