Why do I really want money?

I dare reject all the ready made reflexive and regurgitated answers I gave myself to this question. There is a true and deeper answer that I am not yet seeing. That I am yet to discover. Most of the answers given in the previous articles come from Naval Ravikant & Kapil’s work. Few among them stem from my own realizations.

The article written before this about why I want money, I thought I wanted just for the reasons mentioned in the writing but in turns out that the major reason was to afford to purchase a good time for a woman. It had to with this more that the reasons stated. The other reasons don’t feel like absolute necessities. They would be good to have them, the sound reasonable and nice but I wouldn’t be much bothered if I did not have them.

I have discovered that why I really need money is to use it as a crutch, money would afford me to buy things that would allow me to escape my problems. The fixes, the pleasure, the feel good experiences, self image as that guy who has money, attaining significance in my own and other peoples’ minds, status. These are the hidden ulterior motives. I do not just want money for money’s sake.

I would find more direct answers if I ask myself what I would do now if I had an abundance of money. What is it the lack of money is holding me back from doing? One among them is the feeling of entitlement towards the women that I now categorize to be out of my league. I would feel like I can afford to be with them. This is a trap for my downfall that I have in my mind. I see it. I think the biggest reason I want money is women. Why? Because there is a believe that they can improve how I feel about myself, they can give sex which is one of the highest form of pleasure in the world. Or their validation and approval. So the biggest reason is not even women but to have the ability to purchase pleasure and good feel things and experiences.

I hide behind other reasons but this is the real reason why I want money. I often tell myself that I have everything in the world except money. Translation is I have everything except the capacity to purchase pleasure and feel good things and experiences.

The question is ‘ Do these things have the capacity to totally satiate me?’ What do my experiences so far say? I have had sex with women, they left me with a need for more sex or regret for having had sex with them. The trap here is hope — hope that there is a woman out there who can satisfy me — this is not truth. I have purchased feel good things and experiences but their pleasurable effect loses its lustre after sometime. There is a constant need for replenishment; to get the next thing to regain the feeling. Truth is, nothing gives a man what he things it will give him.

What direction would be most effective for money? Utility. Get money purely for it’s direct uses. It can and will make it easier for one to live in the world. That’s it.