X — time Wasted
A human being will admit to himself that he indeed has wasted time, and continues to do so despite the admissions. When he decides to stop wasting it and invests in the endeavors he deems valuable he finds that sooner or later he slips back to wasting it again, especially if he reactively swung to that decision. The question then becomes how much is he willing to continue to waste? He has built habits to justify the time waste…
This is one thing that is a component of almost my everyday existence. I waste time in the most egregious of ways. Today I decided in a snap to pay a bill that I had refused to pay for months, the resistance to it occupied a certain potion of my thoughts and emotions which now looking back was a total waste of thinking space, emotion and time because I paid in one instant. The trouble I could have save myself if I could have just paid in the beginning.
I use the justification of doing my time worthy activities to waste time i.e. a good day of work and gym training will likely end in tv series binge watch or some other form of entertainment. The binge watch is justified by the fact that I did some good work today. This is mild example, which is recommended in most cases. The problem is that it spills over and eats into the time for the ‘valuable endeavors,. That is where things get out of hand and I feel the impact.
The best way I would like myself to be is to use something only when I need it. No wastage. If that could happen the quality of my life would drastically change for the better. This a journey I am levelling up to now. I found that to be the case with my Instagram use. I realized that I had use for it, but the problem was I used it even when I didn’t need it. After getting off it for about a month I came back to it but use it only for utilitarian purposes and hence I don’t feel like I am wasting time using it anymore. This is what I intend to do with other areas of my life where the pattern is the same.
Am I looking to ‘save’ time to look cool? Attain some self image as a perfect time manager? Or to fit the trend. If those motives exist in me, they are in a secondary position. I am at a stage in my life where I need to seriously figure things out to remain in a desirable trajectory. I wish I could do it in no time, but it just doesn’t work. How do I know? I have tried and failed. I am the guy who seriously banked on winning a sport betting jackpot to solve my financial problems. It failed to a point where I know that if I tried again I will fail again.
It is more about the quality of my daily existence, how fulfilled I feel every given day, how calm and peaceful I moved through the day? The quality of food I ate, of interactions with people and sleep…etc. Everything down to the minutest of detail. It is about a life that is truly worth living.
